One of the ongoing challenges for many workers is that of setting priorities. Question is, do we get them right?
Projects, and indeed employers, come and go… In the meantime the ‘constants’ in our life may slip in terms of the priority list.
Ask yourself: “Have any of my valued relationships suffered because of my work?”
Perhaps your current project/job/work has (and is) taking more precedence over more valuable commitments. It happens. But the real question is, what will you/I do about it?
As a husband and father with two young children, I know that my primary responsibility, before any project or charitable work is to ensure that my family are cared for physically/emotionally/spiritually/materially.
I often remind myself that there are plenty of clients needing creatives out there, but for my children, back at home, there is only one Daddy, me.
So here are “TEN WAYS TO BE A BETTER DAD” from the National Fatherhood Initiative*:
1. Respect Your Children’s Mother
One of the best things a father can do for his children is to respect their mother. If you are married, keep your marriage strong and vital. If you are not married, it is still important to respect and support the mother of your children. A father and mother who respect each other and let their children know it provide a secure environment for them. When children see their parents respecting each other, they are more likely to feel that they are also accepted and respected.
2. Spend Time with Your Children
How a father spends his time tells his children what is important to him. If you always seem too busy for your children, they will feel neglected no matter what you say. Treasuring children often means sacrificing other things, but it is essential to spend time with your children. Kids grow up so quickly. Missed opportunities are lost forever.
3. Earn the Right to Be Heard
All too often, the only time a father speaks to his children is when they have done something wrong. That is why so many children cringe when their mother says, “Your father wants to talk with you.” Begin talking with your kids when they are very young so that difficult subjects will be easier to handle as they get older. Take time and listen to their ideas and problems.
4. Discipline with Love
All children need guidance and discipline, not as punishment, but to set reasonable limits. Remind your children of the consequences of their actions and provide meaningful rewards for desirable behaviour. Fathers who discipline in a calm and fair manner show love for their children.
5. Be a Role Model
Fathers are role models to their kids whether they realise it or not. A girl who spends time with a loving father grows up knowing she deserves to be treated with respect by boys, and what to look for in a husband. Fathers can teach sons what is important in life by demonstrating honesty, humility, and responsibility.
6. Be a Teacher
Too many fathers think teaching is something others do, but a father who teaches his children about right and wrong, and encourages them to do their best, will see his children make good choices. Involved fathers use everyday examples to help their children learn the basic lessons of life.
7. Eat Together as a Family
Sharing a meal together (breakfast, lunch, or dinner) can be an important part of healthy family life. In addition to providing some structure in a busy day, it gives kids the chance to talk about what they are doing and want to do. It is also a good time for fathers to listen and give advice. Most importantly, it is a time for families to be together each day.
8. Read to Your Children
In a world where television [and devices] often dominates the lives of children, it is important that fathers make the effort to read to their children. Children learn best by doing and reading, as well as seeing and hearing. Begin reading to your children when they are very young. When they are older, encourage them to read on their own. Instilling your children with a love for reading is one of the best ways to ensure they will have a lifetime of personal and career growth.
9. Show Affection
Children need the security that comes from knowing they are wanted, accepted, and loved by their family. Parents, especially fathers, need to feel both comfortable and willing to hug their children. Showing affection everyday is the best way to let your children know that you love them.
10. Realize That a Father’s Job Is Never Done
Even after children are grown and ready to leave home, they still look to their fathers for wisdom and advice. Whether it is continued schooling, a new job, or a wedding, fathers continue to play an essential part in the lives of their children as they grow and, perhaps, marry and build their own families.
*National Fatherhood Initiative. (n.d.). 10 ways to be a better dad http://www.fatherhood.org/